Wednesday, April 27, 2016

7 Ciri-ciri Mereka yang Mempunyai Kecerdasan Emosional yang Tinggi

Bagus Berlian

Akhir-akhir ini, kita semakin sadar bahwa kecerdasan emosional ini sangat penting bagi tiap individu dalam menunjang kesuksesan dan kebahagiaan mereka, baik di tempat kerja, pergaulan hingga kehidupan keluarga. Memiliki kecerdasan emosional yang tinggi akan membantu anda dalam bersikap praktis ketika di hadapkan pada suatu permasalahan. Untuk itu, kali ini saya akan sharingkan apa saja ciri-ciri mereka yang mempunyai kecerdasan emosional yang tinggi. Harapannya, hal ini akan menjadi referensi kita bersama untuk kehidupan kita yang lebih bermanfaat dan bahagia kedepannya.
1. Fokus pada Hal-hal yang Positif
Mereka yang memiliki kecerdasan emosional tinggi sadar bahwa percuma saja berlarut-larut dengan masalah. Fokus pada masalah tidak akan pernah membawa solusi, sebaliknya bersikap positif dalam menyikapi masalah akan membawa anda pada solusi yang tepat untuk menyelesaikan permasalahan anda.
2. Mereka yang Berpikiran Positif akan Berkumpul dengan Mereka yang Berpikir Positif Pula
Orang-orang dengan kecerdasan emosional tinggi tidak akan menghabiskan banyak waktu dengan berkumpul bersama mereka yang suka mengeluh dan mengumpat. Mendengarkan keluh kesah dari mereka yang suka berpikir negatif hanya akan membawa menghabiskan energi kita pada hal yang percuma. Sebaliknya, berkumpul dengan orang yang memiliki pikiran positif dan penuh semangat akan membuat kita tertular juga. Dan inilah yang pada akhirnya akan meningkatkan kecerdasan emosional anda juga.
3. Orang dengan Kecerdasan Emosional Tinggi selalu Assertive
Assertive adalah sebuah sikap tegas dalam mengemukakan suatu pendapat, tanpa harus melukai perasaan lawan bicaranya. Orang yang assertive sangat tahu betul kapan mereka harus bicara, kapan mereka harus mengemukakan suatu pendapat dan bagaimana cara yang tepat untuk memberikan sebuah solusi tanpa harus menggurui. Dan yang pasti mereka yang memiliki sikap assertive selalu berpikir terlebih dahulu sebelum bicara.
4. Mereka adalah Visioner yang siap Melupakan Kegagalan di Masa Lalu
Orang-orang dengan kecerdasan emosional yang tinggi akan sibuk memikirkan apa yang akan dilakukannya di masa depan dan segera melupakan kegagalan di masa lalu. Baginya kegagalan di masa lalu adalah sebuah pelajaran yang penting diambil untuk mengambil langkah yang lebih mantab di masa yang akan datang.
5. Mereka Tahu Cara Membuat Hidup Lebih Bahagia dan Bermakna
Dimanapun mereka berada, apakah itu di tempat kerja, di rumah ataupun berkumpul dengan teman-teman, orang dengan kecerdasan emosional yang tinggi akan membawa kebahagiaan bagi sesamanya. Terkadang arti bahagia bagi mereka tidak harus sebuah kekayaan. Bersyukur akan nikmat yang didapat hari ini dan membantu orang lain yang membutuhkan pertolongannya akan membuat mereka merasa bahagia dan bermakna.
6. Mereka Tahu Bagaimana Mengeluarkan Energi Mereka secara Bijak
Mereka yang dikaruniai kecerdasan emosional tinggi, tahu bagaimana memanfaatkan energi mereka dengan bijak.Mereka tidak akan menghabiskan waktu untuk hal-hal yang percuma saja. Mereka akan fokus pada tindakan-tindakan yang akan membawa manfaat bagi sesamanya.
7. Terus Belajar dan Berkembang
Mereka yang memiliki kecerdasan emosional tinggi sadar, bahwa apa yang ia ketahui saat ini masih belumlah apa-apa. Baginya, belajar bukanlah 12 tahun wajib belajar dan 4 tahun kuliah. Wajib belajar adalah seumur hidup. Mereka selalu terbuka akan hal-hal baru dan berani mencoba berbagai macam tantangan yang akan membuat mereka berkembang. Kritik dan saran dari orang lain akan dijadikan sebagai referensi baru dalam mengambil langkah dan keputusan di masa yang akan datang.
“It isn’t stress that makes us fall – it;s how we respond to stressful events.” – Wayde Goodall

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

5 Must-Know Things Every CEO Needs To Start A Business Right

IMAGE: Getty Images

Starting a business is very risky. Even though failure rates have steadily come down since the Great Recession, a new business is more likely to go under than thrive. If you're in financial services, your chances of success are as low as 42%. If you're in retail, your chances go up, but just slightly.
It may come as no surprise but the reason behind the failures rarely has to do with neglect or outside disasters. Almost all the time, it's because management is incompetent. Reasons range from a founder/CEO going into a business for all the wrong reasons (ie just to make lots of money only) or overspending or a total lack of focus.
So how do you make sure you're starting your business on the right foot? Below are five critical things every CEO of a new company needs to know:
  1. Better to be alone than hiring the wrong team: When you start a business, you need to have a strong team around you. The problem is founders become so desperate for a team to prove they have a viable idea that they often rush into hiring co-founders. Chances are you're better off staying alone until you find the right person or persons than hiring the wrong person just to have a warm body next to you. Whatever is bothering you about the person off the bat is going to get even worse, not better. (For more on how CEOs manage staff, listen to our latest podcast episode featuring renowned global thinker Mohamed el-Erian. He talks about "strategic yelling" as a management tool. Click here.)
  2. Sitting on a product too long: I recently had the chance to host a lunch for Eric Ries, the bestselling author of The Lean Startup, whose basic theory is businesses have to test and test their idea or product before it's fully ready. Conventional wisdom suggests you should research and hone your product before fully launching it; Ries' argument is that you waste valuable time on a product that might not even fit the market. Your best bet is to test the product out first on customers and get the feedback, then use that feedback to refine your product. While his method doesn't guarantee success, he says it will certainly guarantee fewer failures.
  3. Overspending/Underspending and not knowing the difference: Unless you're a Wall Street firm with outside facing business, forget the fancy office. A few desks in the beginning will do. However, having a great looking logo or premium-looking website is a must. CEOs have to understand where to spend and where to keep costs low. That fancy foozball table just to make your employees feel like they're working for a cool company? Forget it.
  4. Keep your board small: This really applies to founders who've sought outside funding. Scott Kurnit, the founder of and, says no startup wants to or needs to start off with a big board. You may think it looks impressive but it will inevitably become a headache. Scott's half-kidding but real advice is to find a friend with low net worth and put him or her on the board-that way, if the company one day gets sued, nobody can claim a significant reward from board members. The CEO should always be on the board but not the co-founders; that leads to very awkward and uncomfortable situations later.
  5. Establish your culture early: Culture is not a feel-good thing you should do; it's a thing you absolutely have to do. A company culture is vital to the success and well-being of your growing staff. It's critical for hiring talent and it also forms the foundation by which the founders interact. Scott established a culture very early on and you can read it here. There's also the famous Netflix slide on culture that has inspired many companies, including my own.

Why You Need to Learn How to Speak a Leadership Vocabulary


IMAGE: Getty Images
The words you say and the way you say them can make the difference between your team's success or failure.

In leadership, as in most fields, there's a specialized vocabulary. But, unlike the language of most fields, the words that mean the most in leadership aren't technical jargon. They reflect the kind of language that virtually everyone knows and uses--a series of everyday phrases, affirmations and mantras.
Our leadership vocabulary is designed to guide people toward doing two things: First,to trust your judgment and ability to lead, and second, to contribute their own best effort to the team.
If we can learn to speak the vocabulary of leadership, we not only motivate people butinspire them to succeed.
Here are the basics:
  1. Go for it. It happens all the time in organizations:  things get put on hold and a decision that should have been immediate instead has to go through 17 layers of decision making. Momentum is lost and the moment to act passes. To build a strong team, and to make things happen you  must give your people the power to make things happen and let them know they can go for it.
  2. What do you think? Asking for input gives you the benefit of the your entire team's expertise, experience, and perspectives, and it also shows that you're open to listening and learning. Leading isn't about personal wins--it's about what serves the mission, and that requires collaboration. Ask your people what they think....
  3. I trust you. When you express trust in someone, you demonstrate your faith in their judgment and abilities and commitment. Trust inspires people to be bold and get out there and do things. It's a powerful feeling, to be handed the keys. When you say, I trust you. You are telling your people I know I can count on you.
  4. Let's take a chance. Taking a risk requires confidence, and sometimes you have to impart that confidence second hand. You can expect people to sit around and wait for extraordinary opportunities, or you can encourage them to be daring and create their own opportunities, knowing you'll continue to support them even if they fail.
  5. Keep exploring. Sometimes before you can give a green light you need more information. Sometimes you need to weigh out a whole range of options. "Keep exploring" tells your team the importance of preparing fully and considering all the possibilities.
  6. Here's what's going on. The best leaders have a gentle and straightforward way of communicating the truth. Transparency is the surest path to trust--it keeps people informed and it keeps destructive rumor mills out of business.  Ask when you can, what is going on and be informed.
  7. I would like your feedback. When you ask your team for feedback you open yourself up to learning what is, and isn't, working as it should. You tell them that every member of the team--even the leader--needs input from the others to operate at their smartest and best. Remember feedback is the gift that you can always give.
  8. I messed upThree simple words say you can admit you've made a mistake and work through the consequences without blaming others or making excuses. When you say "I messed up," you're modeling how to be the kind of person who can give their best to everything even if you occasionally get it wrong. It's a powerful lesson.
  9. Let's remember this. When people are working together intently and everyone is deeply focused on the task in front of them, the way to create something truly extraordinary is to remind them why they're working so hard. Keep your team connected to your shared vision by reminding them what you're all there to do and how they make a difference.
  10. I appreciate you because ...  Expressing gratitude and appreciation are the best use you can ever make of your time and words. Let people know how much you appreciate them and how they've impressed you. Be specific and personal and sincere.

Your vocabulary as a leader can make you or break you. Start with these basics and keep building on them to help you succeed.

Monday, April 4, 2016

Seven Ways Leaders Earn Their Teammates' Respect
by Liz Ryan 

Here are seven things leaders do to earn the respect of their team members:
  1. You will organize a regular staff meeting at which you’ll tell your teammates “At each of our staff meetings, I’ll share with you whatever news I have about the company’s progress and challenges. We’ll brainstorm about the most important topics for us to consider each week, from schedules to project statuses to vacation times or whatever we need to address. I want to hear from you about anything we need to pay attention to. I want to know how I can help you best.”
  2. You’ll meet one-on-one with each of your employees to talk about his or her work specifically. This is not a meeting at which an employee has to justify his or her job’s existence, so make sure your employees know that. It’s a meeting at which you’ll listen to whatever your employees want to tell you, and you’ll ask them how you can help them accomplish their goals.
  3. You will be careful not to criticize, second-guess or undermine your teammates, who know their jobs better than you do. You’ll take an advisory role. You’ll remember that people work best when they’re respected and given the latitude to do their jobs their own way. You may have a better idea, but your better idea can wait. You need your team’s respect more than you need to impress your boss with a quick fix that will make you look good.
  4. You will treat your team members’ observations and suggestions with the utmost respect. That means that when someone tells you something in confidence, you’ll keep their confidence by keeping their feedback to yourself. You won’t talk about one teammate with another employee, no matter what.
  5. You will tell the truth to your supervisor about changes that need to happen in your department or about processes or requirements that are not in line with reality. You won’t gain anyone’s trust by telling your teammates “I know our targets are crazy, but what can I do? We have to do our best!” That’s what a spineless supervisor would say. We all have to find our voices at work, and managers must do it on a daily basis!
  6. You won’t use the power of your position to get things done, either with your own teammates or with other departments. If you have to throw around the authority of your job title to get things done, you have not developed the core of leadership strength that real leaders possess. You’ll develop that core that by stepping out of your comfort zone to tell the truth about sticky topics that need airtime. Little by little as you use your new muscles, they will grow.
  7. You will lose the force field of fake power and control that many new managers cultivate — you’ll stay and open and human with your teammates, and get used to saying “I have no idea what to do about this situation — what do you guys think?” You won’t pretend that being the supervisor means you are smarter or better than anyone else. You’ll laugh at your mistakes and ask for help when you need it.
You’ll have more fun and be more successful Leading with a Human Voice than leading with the old-fashioned carrot and stick that have made so many working people miserable and made their supervisors objects of contempt and derision. You are better than that.

You don’t need to act like a boss. You will lead your new teammates through trust and all of you will grow your flames in the process.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

The Secret To Your Leadership Is Not What You Think

Real Leaders

The Secret To Your Leadership Is Not What You Think

It never ceases to surprise me: the world is full of dreamers willing to pay anything to those who promise they can make our dreams come true. A great example of this is the best-selling book The Secret. The book promises that “Everything is possible, nothing is impossible. There are no limits. Whatever you can dream of can be yours, when you use The Secret.” and “Ask. Believe. Receive.” Well, sorry to break it to you folks, this is not the way the secret works! Rather, it’s the other way around. And getting it right is the difference between being a dreamer and a leader.
The main idea behind the book is the law of attraction. We attract people and events in our lives that respond to what we carry inside ourselves. There’s no mystery here. This pearl of wisdom is included in most spiritual lines of thought, and depicted on ancient cave walls, traditional pots and paintings the world over. The inference that we can control or choose what we attract, however, has turned out to be a very profitable distortion of the original law.
I wonder if money and fame were what the author was unconsciously trying to attract when she“Asked. Believed. Received.” Or more likely, whether the excessive attention that comes with money and fame was the secret her heart truly desired. The genuine secret is that our life experience is a mirror of what we don’t want to know about ourselves. Life does not give us what we choose or ask for. Many of us would be incredibly good-looking millionaires if asking and believing were enough.
Nope, life gives us what we need in order to help us face hard facts about ourselves. About our family history, our unconscious feelings and our hidden desires. Life’s learning is not in getting what we want. It’s in getting precisely what we don’t want. Get it? If we go back to Freud’s terminology, the secret would be the gap between the “super-ego” and the “id”. The super-ego is the perfect image we formulate about ourselves. It’s the best possible version of ourselves we try to fulfill.
The id, on the contrary, is the hidden, wild animal within us. It’s the part of us we try to control and discipline into civilized behavior. It’s the sum of our unexpressed frustrations, trapped desires and unspeakable whims. Freud concluded that our behavior, or as he called it, our “ego”, was the result of our lifelong battle between these two extremes. Repression was the name of the game. Pleasure was guilty. And very, very secret! Back to the bestseller fantasies of our internet era.
Byrne’s book promises we can magically materialize our super-ego’s intolerant requirements if we try very, very hard to believe them…. if we quash all our inner fears of impossibility. Reality, however, guarantees just as many problems, sabotages and traps to help us acknowledge and express the deeper truth of our own panic in order to release it. I frequently laugh at how it took me two full years of failure in a saddle to recognize and release my own fear of riding (and anything else that moved before I gave an instruction!). The secret, in fact, is on us: all we need to experience effortless abundance is to fall in love with the wild emotions and impulses within us. Without judgment or intolerant ideals. Rather than repress and deny what we feel deep inside, reality pushes us to let it all out for once and for all. That is the end of subjugation, control and wishful perfection.
Because utopian dreams become irrelevant when you’ve come to embrace the person you really are. Repression and strict discipline are no longer needed when you let go of your own cruel judge. In leadership terms, the secret is the gap between the idealized fantasies of success, the super-performance we try to live up to every day and the deep, hurtful realities about our jobs we try to leave behind. Unsuccessfully. As long as we strive for the pretty future in order to hide from the ugly present, the law of attraction keeps us trapped in endless repetition. We find ourselves reliving the same patterns over and over and over: same conflicts with the boss, similar predicaments around finance, familiar issues in our teams.
Let’s look at Steve, an international activist, for example. He has founded many projects and NGOs to fight against the ugliness of our world: plastic pollution, animal cruelty, political corruption and other images that mirror humanity’s lower imperfections. Steve describes the sublime, super-ego definition of what he does: He passionately believes that his activism is like a nurturing mother caring for her baby: endless patience, a loving response to all desires, and gradual guidance towards the right direction. Steve likes to think of himself as someone who changes the world with the power of nurturing love and irresistible charm.
Zero violence whatsoever. Steve’s reality, however, is quite the opposite. He bans any caterer who packs food with plastic. He will not do business with companies that rely on animals in captivity, and he writes many abrasive articles against politicians he suspects of corruption. While such behaviors are apparently consistent with his business goals, his ban on plastic actually cripples many families’ current income models in several third world countries.
His refusal to work with attraction parks using animals does little to change the way such parks think or operate. Quite on the contrary, many of them go out of their way to contradict him with defensive ad campaigns. And his insulting articles have won him a pretty acid reputation among colleagues and peers. Steve’s demeanor and language are quite aggressive in general. His eyes have a steely-hard shine to them, and his voice cuts off harshly at the end of each sentence.
Steve wants to be nurturing and tender like a mother. But icy violence is contained in his words and actions. Which of course brings him no shortage of entrepreneurial explosions, exhausting battles in court, and distasteful public attacks at events. The world brings Steve exactly what he needs to unveil the secret of his own personality: he is not the loving mother he would like to become. He behaves much more like the violent father he tries to forget.
Life, and its fundamental law of attraction will continue to bring conflict, attack and hardship on Steve until he comes to terms with his past reality. So if he asks you for your investment, well, what do you want me to say? Simply be aware that if you strongly feel like you should give him your money after reading all this, it’s because your secret means you need to lose some money in order to uncover something valuable about yourself! ;-)!
The secret to your leadership is right in front of you. Just look at what life offers you here and now, and stop dreaming of something else. This is who you are. The day you fall in love with this, here and now, is the day you’ll be ready to lead others. Your secret will be unveiled.

4 Ways to Create Positive Synergy in Team Meetings

Almost every single aspect of modern civilization can be traced back to collaboration and some division of labor on a grand scale. This fractal of synergy is what makes us the most innovative species by far on the planet. In the 21st century, we count on things like team meetings to clarify everyone’s individual tasks and coordinate large projects. But you can’t count on meetings alone to boost the productivity of your organization. If you want to remain competitive, the meetings have to lead to something. If you’re hosting the meeting, you need to lead the discussion into something highly-productive and positive.
You need to know how to have a proper team meeting on Zoom! The road to a great meeting can be summed up in four basic principles that you must adhere to whenever possible in hosting your meetings. Let’s have a look at those, shall we?

Make the conversation about data.

After the chit-chat has finished, it’s time to make it clear that we’re getting down to business. One of the best ways to do that is to get the numbers flowing as soon as you can. All the data related to the conversation should be discussed here. Emotional and opinionated talk should be discouraged and put aside in favor of empirical discussion. This pushes everyone towards a data-driven mentality. It makes people use the numbers discussed to justify their points of view later in the conversation.
If you can, present some visual cues of the importance of data by using Zoom’s screen sharing feature and displaying charts and graphs that are relevant to the discussion.

Steer towards inclusivity.

Now you have started to see embers. It’s time to breathe life into them so that they may transform into flames. At this point, make sure that the conversation is as inclusive as possible. Do not allow people to dismiss each other’s ideas, and make sure that you are as attentive to all of them as possible. In short, make everyone feel that their voice has been heard. Even if an idea sounds objectively weak, try to expand on it for a moment. If all else fails, just acknowledge the idea and move onto the next one. The idea is to make people feel as much a part of the conversation as possible.

Build consensus through win-win thinking.

The most productive meetings have some form of consensus between their attendees. Working towards a consensus involves trying to engage everyone in a similar mindset. Yes, humans are humans, and because they’re humans, they’ll have a confrontational and competitive nature. There’s nothing wrong with healthy competition as long as the end goal of collaboration and compromise comes first. In a team effort, everyone has to be on the same wavelength. It might actually take you a few meetings, but you can accomplish this as long as you try as much as you can to create environments in which people can come up with win-win situations in every possible occasion.

Find common ground.

It’s inevitable that you will reach a point of entropy, where conflict will overtake the discussion. It is at this point that you should actually avoid going into “damage control” mode as much as possible. If you want to solve the conflict, backing down is only going to make things worse. Instead of trying to quell things, focus on trying to find common ground. Elevate yourself above the rest of the voices and be assertive. Then, once you have everyone’s attention, attempt to find where the dissent comes from. After that, discover every point where everyone is in agreement and pick it up from there.
Once you’ve finished quelling the conflict, you should then try to work with the naysayers to see whether they are spotting a potential issue with what’s being discussed. Sometimes, they’ll spot something that could cause deep problems with the goals you’re trying to accomplish. Listening to negative input doesn’t hurt!

Sunday, February 7, 2016

The 5 Traits I Look for Before Hiring Anyone

Motto: Words to Live By. From the Editors of TIME.
By Danny Meyer


The first time I applied for a job in the restaurant business, the interview consisted of my walking into the restaurant, the owner looking me up and down, and him blurting, “You’re hired”—all while he was sitting 20 feet away at the bar.
Later, when I started hiring employees, I knew that wasn’t going to be how we did it. At first, I looked only at technical skills. But I just kept finding that a lot of the candidates who came with impressive credentials were not always the kind of people who I could also see genuinely wanting to take care of our guests. Some people who had the least impressive technical skills ended up being the biggest stars at the restaurant, while others—with the most impressive technical skills—ended up weighing the ship down.
Hiring people is kind of like being the captain of your neighborhood touch football team. You distinguish yourself first and foremost by picking your team even better than the other guy. And I always felt that would be our advantage.
Every time we employ somebody, there’s a big leap of faith on our end and on the end of the prospective employee. We’re both taking a risk that this is a good fit. And what I started to realize is that a person may be great at knowing how to cook or open a bottle of wine, but that even more important were the innate hospitality skills. People who thrive when they make others feel better would become our biggest champs.
So for a few years, I said, “I’m going to stop looking for technical skills and just look for emotional skills,” because I figured I could always teach technical skills.
I eventually realized that wasn’t enough, either: We needed a balance. You can be somewhat less accomplished on the technical skills because, if you have those emotional skills and you need a little polishing on the wines of Tuscany, I bet we can teach you. But you can’t come in and work at The Modern never having opened a bottle of wine in your life.
The five emotional skills I look for are:
1. Kindness and optimism: We work long hours, and I want to be surrounded by friendly, hopeful people. Skeptics rarely work out well on our team.
2. Intellectual curiosity: Do you approach each moment as an opportunity to learn something new?
3. Work ethic: In addition to being trainable on how to do a job the right way, does it matter to you to do that job as well as it can possibly be done?
4. Empathy and self-awareness: Do you know your own personal weather report and how it’s impacting other people and you today? Do you care how your actions make other people feel?
5. Integrity: Do you have the judgment to do the right thing even when no one else is looking?
So while we don’t have a test for them, just by naming these emotional skills and being conscious of them before, during and after the interview, I think our batting average is pretty high because we’re being mindful about what success means for ourselves and our employees.
Danny Meyer is the founder of Shake Shack and the chief executive officer of Union Square Hospitality Group, which includes beloved restaurants like Union Square Cafe, Gramercy Tavern and The Modern, as well as the catering company Union Square Events and the consulting business Hospitality Quotient. He is a 2015 TIME 100 honoree.